Today's the first day of psle oral..i was reserve guarding the staircase as usual...early in the morning..went to look for admin staff to collect my letter..but haven't arrive...end up...when she arrived she came up to scold me because i went down to look for her 2 times....everyone says she's crazy..to me..maybe i really irritated her..yes..i did felt hurt cos she scolded until the whole staffroom people knows about it and came to console me..actually i didn't really take it to heart..maybe i really did wrong..that's y out of so many people who go looking for her she only came to scold me..
When we're guarding the staircase..I was on the 3rd floor...Jaja on 1st floor..he can look at me and I can look at him..and I suddenly thought that....if he really leaves the school..cannot play like that anymore..actually to me..any changes is consider a big change..i cannot adjust but to feel very sad about it...but since it's his choice...he can still joke around say 7 yrs time teach friend's kid and calling the chils nicknames...i don think he can survive that long according to his attitude and feeling now..
Me? Once I have my first job...i don wish to change anymore..be it happy or sad..The age of venturing to do some other things is already not there anymore..to be exact..it means dreams are still dreams that cannot be fulfilled..I've thought of alot of jobs for myself..singer..actor..translator..I'm afraid I can't do them well...reently..even volunteering stuff I also couldn't do well..
I dono what's wrong with me..will wake up during midnight and couldn't sleep for 2 hours...health has not been good..i'm lacking of sleep..but fell asleep immediately after eating dinner...felt very tired...it has been going on for a few weeks..and today..I watch phamtom of the opera..the ticket is so ex..and i really yearn to watch it..end up i slept and even snore...this is not the normal me...I guess it's time I need to sit down and think of how to find back my old self..I think my old self is still the best...the me who is energetic..hardworking..do alot of work..
where can i find back the old me?
