today really look like an auntie...5 bags of things to carry back home..2 big 3 small..3 small are food..2 hot and 1 ice cream...cannot hold them together..plus my big bags keep slipping off my shoulder..difficult to carry..but i really have a craving for milo ice cream ma..long time say wana buy but din..den now all the milo posters anywhere cos of the soccer cup or sth..sponsor...crave more..bought otah..popiah..and bread home..plus 1 full bag of exam papers to mark by tmr..den tmr going back to sch early for full day marking..very lost leh...

becos of an email i sent for enquiry of psle marking..den lotsa top ppl noe bout it den came to tok to me..sigh..dono when this can stop..really like ripple leh..ya i'm blur wad..den always alone nobody tells me anything de unless i ask..

temple camp really quite fun..but the planning...making ppl tired aft all the hours of discussion..
this is the video that out fantastic ppl made..
http://dybcamp.forumotion.net/making-of-videos-f14/attn-jiahao-trailer-audio-t61.htm
hehe..nice nice..but then the youngsters like din smile or don dare to smile i shd say..while we're all laughing like haywire..lol..maybe we noe the ppl tt makes the fun part of it..they dono us that's y..but we stil feel appreciated..

more and more discussion before the final product..more and more markings and meetings before end of school term..jiayou!

today reach school at 8 for compo standarisation..jus realise i sent out an email to the hotline desk..end up went one big round and shoot back to lotsa sch key personnel..sigh..stupid me..cos tt time noe nothing at all bout it..so ask bout it..

compo den end up think i mark too strict..ppl sitting beside me saw my marks saw..wah..so strict ah..den another told me one of the pupils' compo..other teachers saw and gave 8..i gave 5..siao liao..but cos compare ma..the pupil is the not so good one..but den that kid's parent will ask..hmm..tink i really gave mark too strict..

during yesterday's invigilation..one of my pupil din come..and did not take note of the absentee..and some student din write their name on th answer script..siao liao..i got so worried..end up everything still ok..sigh...

1st 2 period actually free today..so trying to finish marking the 2nd marking of the compo..but i don really have the mood to mark it..so stress up and so many things on my mind..den went for invigilation..den one only one period free for the day..went to catch the absentee to take the test..and to settle later on pe class gym test..suddenly got ppl say need to key in their result into the system by next week..siao liao..i din do that before..by the time wana go into the system to look around..bell ring..den gotta rush the kids for their gym test..den they're so noisy and slow..this class..sigh..den bring them back to class..rush for another lesson again..extra period with the class bcos of first 2 period free..den gave them a scolding cos they're shouting around..it's not that i'm purposely late..explain to them so many times i couldn't make it on time but they stil don understand..

den when i'm rushing for my lesson..my neighbour reminded me to keep the compos in a safe place in case got ppl really wana backstab and sabotage..den i thot..ppl like me stil wana sabotage me..siao liao lo..i so blur and gong one..but i guess..if really wana sabotage den like tat lo..don think the person who sabotage me won have a good end anyway..usually will end up that way..jus like if i harm others..i won have a good end too..can say it's retribution ba..

den..lotsa htings on my mind..den suddenly thot of the passwords that i had..i think i can't remember all the passwords..siao liao..sigh..

tmr 8am again..temple lesson plan..compo..keying in results into com for reference..i've done none..thou i went out to buy my bbt for a short break..no use..it jus make me feeling full but actually not full at all..dono y like don even have time to fill up my water bottle for the day..don have enuff water..and my right back was aching liao siao since this morning..den some of the teachers oredi finish their 2nd marking..so many things on my mind..plus other stuff..i'm feeling quite irritated these days..

yesterday..broke my sis's bowl..she put it at the sofa table..which was a dangerous place..and she's away for a while..den i was wathcing tv din see her bowl there..and my leg jus kick...and it fell and broke lo..she left her favourite food inside the bowl..sigh..den sis keep blaming me..while my parents say shd blame herself for putting it at such a dangerous place..den she not happy lo..say if i leg nt itchy don kick den this won happen...they had a big quarrel..dad say wnaa beat her up..den sis say him to shut up..i oso din really wan it to happen..but i was watching tv and really din notice the bowl was dere..den sis say they biased towards me..den mum jus say..ya lo ya lo..of course she teared la cos it feels it's unfair..i din say it's not my fault..but she shd nt jus out the blame all on me..i really din noe..i feel like cyring..but end up..i suddenly realise..i had no tears anymore..maybe i really cry until no more tears..or mayb i'm too stress up over other things tt's y it doesn't bother me..or...i've jus become stronger aft so many years of criticism...blaming...suppression..

dono y..i have a feeling that i gradually noe wad i really wanted..the kind of life i wana live..the kind of guy i really like..jus that last time i din take action..or dare to act or voice or express out..everything oso ok ok..even if not ok i still accept it and say ok..but now..i'll have a better idea and dare to voice out if necessary..and really go and do wad i really wanted..the true me inside out..but whether others can accept..it's really not up to me..i'm jus..trying to be my true self too..thou stil trying hard to express and voice out wad i really wanted..last time always wan everyone to like me..tt's y do things tt other ppl like..now jus that some couldn't accept this me tt could voice myself out..but i feel more satisfied bout this me..noe wad i like or dislike..phew..jiayou!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

today went gym..don really feel that tired from those stretching exercise..ok la..and today i can like stay in the suana for at least 5 min..compared to normal days 1 min den buay tahan liao..and i don feel cold at lo..not like normal days aft bath den feel very cold..does that imply that my health is better liao? hee..

bought some books for kids de..on how to let them write stories thru pictures..and they can learn to write story endings and stuff..now like planning wad to do with them after their exams..watch doraemon..teach poem..let them write stories..still planning..

these few days went to record marks..really very sianz..so bo liao..gotta keep on finding topic to chat..but these days quite slack la..not so busy as normal school days..but i jus find it too boring liao..and the marker mark until like siao..

there're still lotsa things on my mind..lotsa things couldn't let go..lotsa things..which cannot be improved even given time..

tired..these days sleep little..eat only 2 meals..no junk..drink little..really can 做仙了..

temple things got alot to rush out..den the cannot extract things out from mobtv..like tat really dono how to show it to the kids..

really tired le..

yesterday nite..all of us din sleep well..mum was shouting in the middle of the night..dad did not buy dinner again..end up eat maggi mee again..and i was home late..have been out for the whole day..sis did not bath again..sigh..scold until everyone become so pek chek..sis too..pek chek until cannot sleep..cos mum shouting in the middle of the nite..and i guess mum shout so loudly..don think she can sleep so easily too..

these days..i've been rushing through my lesson..i was shouting everyday..esp to the naughty students..until..dono y recently lotsa students cry...these days i oso notice that the p1 gives me blur blur and silly smiles..while the p2 have that 撒娇look..everytime will say..please please..can.even the naughty kids will give me a big smile when i look at them..and more students cry..sono bcos i scolded them more fiercely den before..or bcos...they start to like me more..tt's y when i scold them they feel hurt...

tons of things for me to mark..luckily yesterady finish most of them..stil left some..i really hope they can do well..i was nervous..whether they can do it or not..

on my way out of school on friday..i met a few parents asking me..and one of the parent tend to chit chat with me..about this and that..her son blah blah blah..going for piano lesson...den say his son treat my word very seriously..the things i said...and her mum tried to change his mindset..cannot..cos the kid took every of my word very seriously..and told his mum...no..xue lao shi say is like this...and she feels that printed worksheet is better than online worksheets..cos can refer..and she notice recently there's more worksheet compared to last time...(wooh..luckily i did extra worksheets..)

gotta go to coral primary at pasir ris for psle marking..temple lesson plan i dono how..i din touch it..and my memory stick got stuck inside the laptop cos i din put it into a bigger casing before putting it into the hole..i dono how to get it out..

today is a saturday..and i nua at home din go out at all..feel so sianz..sigh..wanted to go gym de..but morning really very tired..den afternon go timing wierd wierd de..go le don need mark compo le..at nite..sigh..who to go out with? even if wana go out and have a drink oso..sigh..staying at home whole day..so hot..hot until not in good mood le..i shd go out de..but den always need to hesitate this and that..sigh..mummy lo..keep saying i go out everyday..but oredi used to gg out ma..if don go out really feel suck alot..sigh..wad am i waiting for? wad am i hoping for? jus go out alone la..

y everyone will go out either yesterday or today de..wana find someone to chat online or sth oso don have..everyone is like celebrating..no matter who they go out with..sigh..been staying at home for these 2 days unhappily..y can't i be like others jus go out..but mum don let me go out alone..really wanted go sing k by myself..but cannot go out..today mum din really cook..all not nutritious packet food..then will complain i don come back to eat when she cook..i din feel like eating at all..lunch oredi force myself to eat..later dinner gotta eat same thing again..more sian..even more no appetite..i really wish to jus stay out during dinner time to siam dinner den come back say i ate le..but..i cannot go out..stay at home eat too little will get nagged or scolded..mood very bad..not efficient..din do anything constructive at all..din mark anything..jus waste my time..cos i'm jus feeling very unhappy...sigh...2 days le..if it goes on to the third day..tink i'm going into my own depression again..den eye sore sore go sch..luckily don need go on stage anymore..sigh..