janicesit

It has been quite some time since I wrote...until I checked my post and it was aug the last time..I actually the most busy is still assignment...although i keep telling myself it's going to be over soon...my mins is still full of assignments...I couldn't rest well..there are also other stuff in school which I need to take note and occupied with..plus I have to constantly update myself with news and ews and news and trying to interpret what every person said into another language to practice...it was tough..whether physically or mentally..it's tough...

when I was in temple...i finally saw how other people interpreted from the chinese leturer to english..the person was really cool man...it was fluent..and her speed and everything was good..for me..there are alot of religion terms that I need to think how to interpret it..the teacher told us at most 20 min need to change another interpreter..guess wad..the person interpreted for the whole lecture for more than an hour..and she wasn't tired at all..i was really wondering how she did that..without any scripts..any preparation..or wht the topic was about..it was an imprompto thing..I found it really amazing..will I ever be like her?I can't imagine myself so amazing doing it..I find them a genius..first..to interpret..second to make sense out of nonsense..third..to keep up with the speed and retain the content..and being fluent in another language..

I really thought of where I should live after I got married..I just realise there's no ideal place that has HDB flats for me to buy..or is it still because..I wanted to leave the family just to get freedom? but subconsciously I don't want to move so far away from them.. the invisible string is still there..attached..

today..I was eating and shopping alone again in bugis..when my boyfriend and my colleague friends are out there chatting happily over lunch..but it was good to be alone as I like that kind of feeling..am I a wierdo? I can feel the energy around me when I was alone by myself..even when I was interpreting..I need to be calm..稳重...and I could interpret better than laughing and chatting with my friends..but as what I learnt...人到了最后还是回一个人走自己的路...isn't that the case for me..when I don't need anybody to be with me and I can deal very well with myself..I like that kind of freedom..when I don't want to laugh..I don't laugh..when I don't feel like talking..I don't talk..I don't feel any awkwardness by myself..it's so much better when in a big group and I have nothing to say and I have to keep smiling and trying hard to feel that I'm still with the group..but that's different from my boyfriend..he likes to joke around..talk..laugh..in a big group..but I really couldn't..it's not that I don't like..but I really don't know how to...our character is so different..yesterday he just told me...when he try to joke with me..I don't laugh..he's not happy...what to do..I'm just like that..so I just let him go out with other people to satisfy his needs..but I don't why will be scared I get jealous...when I already told myself that I won't..it is my choice of not going out with them..or also..I couldn't be with them..I have my own things that I need to do..I have my own life..although the things I did might not be what I want..I chose to do that..

I think heaven just don't want me to rest any bit..lots of things happening which made me worried..made me couldn't really relax and rest..just wants me to keep going with small and big obstaces here and there..to tell the truth..I wasn't 100% happy in any day..cos I couldn't rest..what to do..that's life..it seems to be negative..but still..got to keep on...just like interpreting..you got to keep up with the speed..if you don't interpret that sentence..that timing is over..there's no time for you to regret and look back how poorly you have done..you just got to keep interpreting until the end..that's life too..although some parts of life you can make a better choice and making yourself happier..but you didn't..but you couldn't stop and look back how sad was your past..you just got to keep up with the busy life and obstacles you have and deal with it..to me..everything was nothing..all I need to do was to make the right choice..small matters doesn't really matter to me..whether what I eat today..what I do today..where I live..these are really all small matters that I don't take note..

Recently..after hearing a lecture in temple..I have a tendency not to buy anything at all..and I still wanted to donate and give away my stuff..to really those who need and not selling them..these holidays..I hope I have the time to really sit down and plan what I should do..and even what will my life be after I graduated...

Labels: October