3 of us in the house on medication today..which is 75% of the total ppl in the house..more than 50%...that's a lot..sis is sick..having fever..and again..not taking her shower and slept on the sofa till morning..
before that..it was me..who had diarrea...and forced myself to go to sch though doctor gave me mc..too many things to settle..once i reach sch..bombarded by other teachers about marking scheme..amendment of worksheet...and gotta climb up and down to seek advice from the other teachers..i tot i could take it..cos usually even doctor gave me mc i won take..run run jump jump will be ok..but who knows..2nd period..i'm oredi feverish..i walked slowly to the staffroom to pop a panadol down..leaving the kids behind for awhile..it's miserable..but others will kana relief..i thot...since it's friday i just give them some work to do and don need to teach much..anyway..i manage to dong all the way until jaja send me home..we took taxi..as i gotta carry my guitar and boardgames that i brought back home..i couldn't take it myself..almost everyday one of the teachers will suan him..wah..today with two girls..yesterday with three gals..blah blah blah..
what if tomorrow i'm not a teacher?
what if i'm getting married tomorrow?
what if i drop out of school?
what if i suddenly decide to go overseas for studies?
what if i go overseas for attachment?
what if i'm being fault for not doing my job well?
what if someone push me to become a scapegoat?
what if...what if...what if..
大家都累了......但每一天都说......还好...还好
大家都有话想说......但把话放在心里的人是否过得更好
不说...怎么知道你和大家也是如此呢
同理心...产生共鸣
heaven has always been helping me alot..i really appreciate it..at many times..cut short my waiting time for bus..pours after i reach my destination..and let everything run smoothly..and always giving me what i need..how lucky i am to have you..i just want to say...heaven of earth..mother of nature..thank you very much
cool! went to may day concert..i didn't know my sch's hod oso went..and sitting at the muddy area..although we bought cat 1 tickets..everyone was stnading up and i was too short to see the stage all the time..but i find their songs nice..meaningful...lyrics funky..yeah!
may day rocks!
我喜欢跳舞......我喜欢唱歌......我喜欢读书......我喜欢武术......我喜欢和家人与朋友在一起说笑......
可是......我什么时候能有空去做这些事情？
为了一科我喜欢的科目......苦读三年......真的值得吗？
我到底是获得更多......还是失去得更多？
I think mum likes to chat with me..but if i want to chat with her..i gotta get up bfore 7am before she leaves to do exercise downstairs with the other aunties at 8am..
when i got up early..she'll try to chat with me on lots of stuff..think she's really being alone for quite long..as everyone is busy working..and she has no one to talk to..i try my best to get up early..but my body couldn't take it..normal time i 8am..so now..my aim is try to get up by 7am so that she can chat with me..
you know one cute thing about her is...when i look down looking at her doing excerise..she'll know..cos she'll look up once in a while at our house window while doing exercise...den she'll wave at me..i can see that she's very happy...just like when i go down to take bus on the way to bus stop..she'll oso wave at me from the corridor and keep a lookout for my bus whether it's coming..she'll point and point..i think it's becomes a kind of habit that we will do..
actually i like talking to her..just that sometimes when her mood is not very good..she'll complain to me about wad the other family members in the house did to her..and how angry she was and ask me not to "befriend" them this and that..i did persuade her not to get so angry..nowadays she's so angry with dad until her stomach feels bloated and didn't wana eat a thing..it's nt good for her health..just trying my best lo..
the only thing that i wish to do with my family is go out to have a good meal together..she's always rejecting it..giving excuses say we're not free..she's not feeling well..how could i make her go out of the house to eat with us? hmm..
my anxiety is getting more and more serious..on sun..2359..no..is after 2359 over the deadline..and i submitted the assignment online..with trembling hands..i was so gan chiong..cos sis last min check finish my assignment..my hands were really trembling like mad as i rushed to submit the assignment..
theis week another hectic week..mon prepare for lesson observation by other teachers for lesson study..tue..my turn to give san zi jing talk to all the students..wed..lesson observation by 4 teachers for lesson study..thu..need to take band out for syf competition..i need to take a breathe..
i really need someone to talk to..if nt i thin ki'll be sad to death..went for my nite class..i knew nobody..while others have ppl to discuss their assignment and do together..i've been switching classes all the time and have no fixed frenz..
i was so muddle-head sometimes that i forgot this and that..and as a chinese level rep..there're just so many things that i dono and i gotta do them blindly..seeking for alot of ppl's opinion and double check the work that i've done..editing and editing again..
i really need to breathe some fresh air to make me cool down and blow away my anxiety and sadness..i just can't help it that my stress level is so high..that kind of sadness just couldn't go away sometimes that affects me to think negatively when i don wan to..
