最近心事重重，也不知是因为和mum的心灵感应，还是有太多事情需要想。需要抬起头呼吸才觉得舒服顺畅。

最近很多人说我瘦了，头发也掉了很多。今天疏了一个包头嚷自己精神一点。

刚刚发生的事，晚上佛堂听的课就有讲到：不毁谤别人积口德。我很清楚自己在做什么。就算折寿，该说的还是要说的。

因为身边的人一直包庇，无法看清楚自己。你想要这样的你吗？

虽然做法极端，但是不极端怎么会被受关注？怎么能达到终极目标？

该说的还是要说的。不管别人怎么想，我还是达到我要的目标。不管以后别人怎么看，或对我有所改观，我还是这样一个坚持的我。

天蝎座的性格+O型混合=.....

Recently, posted a nasty post on fb. Actually, it seems that I'm angry with the person or sth. Actually no, I just want the person who got angry to feel that..actually don need to be angry to the extreme..the person who is the most angry told
me to remove the post, that's y I removed. My goal achieved.

一时之气其实什么都改变不了。讨厌一个人就要讨厌到底，如果没有决心去讨厌，觉得累，就不要只讨厌一半。我只不过是让别人的气早点消掉，让自己折口德，有什么关系。

The result is out: 114 out of 426. You know what this means? It's the result of the balloting for applying the flat near macpherson. Before that, I already told mum that I'm applying for flat. Now the result is out, my mind is thinking of all sorts of stuff.

After shower, I picked up my courage to show my dad the map of the estate that we're balloting. I was feeling feverish, face hot, and with sis just beside me as well. My dad didn't have much reaction. He just say too small can't see the big hawker centre nearby. After I told him, my stomach really has butterfly.

I thought of all sorts of stuff. I need someone to talk to and gives me advice...between my bf..and my friends..

Friends who care for me..I really need someone to talk to and discuss..or analysis.. Do look for me..text me..fb me..email me ya..I sometimes might be busy..but this is an important decision..as the saying goes..女怕嫁错郎..I hope to sort out my thoughts asap so that I don need to keep on harbouring and can concentrate on my busy schedule..

Suddenly, I feel like creating a translation blog with various type of translation..and available for discussion...

These few days wasn't easy to pass..really need to 熬过去...

Thursday: band competition
6am: reach school, help to comb students hair, principal still make fun of me and ask me to gel my hair with them..I know I was messy, so I reply..can I not do so..the girls' heels are coming off, used contact glue and tried to stick it back...became shoe mender or awhile..

We set off..was worried we'll be late as we jam a little..I help to carry lots of stuff..their spare parts, other ppl's bag..blah blah..felt tired..when we're going back..we forgot to take down bus driver's number and waited for a while..with the heavy rain keep splashing on us at the bus bay even when we're sheltered..

Finally..managed to come back...see the kids keep their stuff and vigor their break..already 12pm. I only left 10min to gobble my food before going for hall duty..

1st period: mass PE in the school hall..I do aerobics with the kids..seems energetic ya..because I'm destressing..the next period is my lesson observation.. Knew only during lunch just now that the hod is coming with my reporting officer to ob me..oh gosh..I din really prepare.. I was the first one in the whole school being observed cos my RO told me she has no other time anymore to observe me..I'm the guinea pig..

Nvm..I was dripping sweat while being observed..I don feel any stress at all cos I was too tired to do so..according to lesson plan..I taught too fast.. Nvm..I don really care if it will affect my grade or not..just get it over and done with..

Luckily I had a little break to rest before accompanying students back yo hear the results..I think we're the only group..and the biggest group of all band to go back and hear the results..actually..I'm not nervous at all cos every year is the same result..for both the schools that our instructor taught..

We are very late the time we hear we got GWH again..the parents in school are waiting for them to go back for the buffet..

After much delay..we finally start to eat at 7 plus..the head ask me to go back earlier and don need to clear up..cos she chose to go for the learning journey trip another day instead of tomorrow morning..

9pm: reach home sweet home. I bought bbt to reward myself

Friday: as I need to reach school at 8..might as well ask Jaja to send me..so woke up at 6...end up he took mc and I use quite some time to travel again..thought I could mark some stuff before going out again..

In the morning..my parents are quarreling again..over small things on packing my snacks for dinner..I was so upset about it and I cried..y can't this small thing I can't do it myself and mum need to force dad to do and dad din do well and quarrel again..I force myself to leave the house as early as possible..I don have the time to be sad now..if not I'll be late for school..

Everyone knew I had a long day yesterday and tried to empathize..and say..Wah..u can dong for the whole day ah..actually I used to it le..go temple attend lesson also one full day..just try to sleep while I can..I really go fishing for quite many stuff

I tried to sleep on the bus..but got teacher find me to talk to him about alit of things.. End up din sleep..

Went to moe heritage Centre..bag was heavy..I din talk much..just walk with the group..I tried not to use my brain so much to lessen my brain burden..and try to relax and make myself tired and not forcing myself to be energetic..just look tired when u need..

On the way back..I couldn't care more and slept on the bus..but once in a while some teachers tried to ask if anyone need to buy lunch and woke me up..Don care force myself to sleep..

They reminded me that I still haven assignment haven complete..this time assignment really alot of reading..

Lucky..my p2 class having speech and drama don need me to teach..I was trying to cover up my sleepiness in class when the external teacher was teaching..I left 3 periods to teach..before I rush for my sim lesson..I din go with my friend..so that I don need to talk and can sleep on the bus..

When I reach there..there are many graduates wearing robes..it was their graduation day..many flowers and cute flying balloons could be seen everywhere..with their family members..taking photograph..I was so envious..really envy them that they have graduate..I told myself..no matter what happen..graduation day I die die will come..I really treasure this ceremony alot..because I use more time and effort and hardship than any other one ppl to graduate..even if there's nobody with me..even if parents quarrel on that day and don come..even if Jaja has school that day..I'll still come by myself..I don wan anything to spoil my mood that day..

Almost everyone will buy the black heel new shoe..and black pencil skirt..sleeve shirt for their graduation..last time NIE graduate I din buy..this time I sure will buy..plus the graduation Teddy bear..it's something I look forward to for a long long time..and I will try to borrow a good dslr and take alot of photos that day..and shout out loud:我终于熬出头了！！！我要找回过去失去的三年！！

End up..I still go fishing during lesson..it was so obvious that the teacher let us take a break..

Good Jaja sent me to eat supper..although I'm tired..I don care..just go..

Eating ice cream at 11pm was so nice!!