I really feel angry when she throws away my things that I need to use.. Or spoil my things just because she's careless. I really wish I could get away from this house and this family.. All the while my wish is still the same..this house has bad people.. Bad fengshui.. Everything is bad..
I'm not happy at all..it's not that I'm not filial or hate them..I'm just not happy because of their character..doing..everything..does things for my own good but harm me instead..I know I shd not be grumbling but after all these years of tolerance I really couldn't take it..I hate the way they groom me to be like this and let me have this kind of bad habit which makes me to be what I am now. It's really serious..living with fear..phobia..and sleepless nights..pls tell me what to do in order for them to just let me go and be free so that I can be happy..
I really don wan to be a kid and whatever I do they'll just object silently and keep complaining at the back how bad I did what bad things I've done. How come everything I did turns bad in front of them? How come
I cannot choose the way I want to go? How come they keep thinking I have no choice but to live like that? How come I give money and contribute to the family still need to be disliked and say I give too much? How come all the good things that I did all become bad? Why can't I just be myself? Why do I need to be controlled by people from everywhere and everyone? I feel so stress that I keep having nightmare.. I'm being forced until I have nowhere to go and no where to retreat.. I'm on the verge..at the very very edge and back ..afraid..couldn't move anymore but to squat down and cry but can't call or any help because nobody can help..
What am I going to do..I am really too afraid to help myself but nobody can help me..
