My exam is coming...it seems easy..30 min to assure u're dead or alive..i didn't really study much for it..as interpretation is not my forte..i'm not good in speaking..i rather not to speak a word at all..yet i went into a career which i need to speak alot..i'm not good in action stuff..yet I went to learn wushu...I like to stay at home..yet I learnt so many stuff and always not at home..what does this tells me about myself? like to challenge myself to do things that I thought I couldn't do? I don't know..I just know that I'm constantly under stress when all these that I'm doing are all not my forte..

This year is the first year that I do not have a birthday cake with me..I told myself not to celebrate at all..but I just couldn't help it when my birthday was forgotten..it's like no birthday celebration..no existance of me in this world at all..

But actually is bcos jaja is sick..actually I seem to be thinner cos he's sick..I don go out eat..and I won turn fat...that's what he wants too...

I just feel it a waste to have so many discounts and coupon that I didn't use this month....my free cake..free ice cream..and my favourite tcc...and the place that I want to go..left about 10 day towards the end of the month..minus off the exam dates..i don have much day left to use them..

No matter what is the outcome of my exam result..I shouldn't be too botered over it..after all..i'm still learning..i just need a pass..this is the last interpretation assignment that i'm having..I should embrace it and enjoy it..

I just went to cut my hair..it feels lighter..I was having a very bad headache..therefore I couldn't concentrate on studying...or maybe i use it as an excuse for myself..

Other ppl try to work faster to relax..I work harder and faster to do more work..this thinking is..not right? I wanted to contribute more and do more..I don't see what's the problem..it's so waste of time to waste the time away..if the same thing comes..i'll still choose to do things which are useful than resting..yes..I might harm my own body by not resting..having body ache and pain everywhere until i toss and turn...until i couldn't sleep at night...but it's worth it..cos I dono what the world will become the next minute..maybe when I want to contribute..there isn't any more chance for me to do that..

How I wish I could travel around the world to the places that I want to go..go to Japan to see Sakura..Go to Cape of Good Hope in Africa..blow the bagpipe in Scotland..Go Toledo and see how chrstian use the mosque as a church..go every places to look at their culture..and to take part time and earn some travel money on the way..to look at the world...and to understand how it is like to be in other countries..but..looking at the natural disaster and weather..I don think there is a chance for me to really go to those place anymore..esp when I can only travel during school holidays... I did have the idea of taking leave to travel..but i don think my family will allow..what to do...I still have my constraints to think about..

A lot of peple is striving towards money..fame..achievements..but I just want to take a look at the world..I don need to live in a nice house..or need any extra stuff to make myself happy..I just want to do the things I want..why can't I stop thinking of others and try to be more happy to be myself..living what other people wants of u is really difficult..I can say I didn't really live for myself..since I can't do the things I want..live has always been difficult..if I have a child I will definitely let he or she do whatever he or she likes..I hope they can enjoy the freedom..as long as they know what they want and there's nothing wrong in what they do.. i hope they can achieve the freedom that I dream of having...