After my exam today.. I did many things.. got a goody bag from Krafers paradise..those DIY shops..and did sth to participate in their competition... then went to get my flu jab as I'm going Hangzhou soon..then went to borrow a "Jimmy" book from library...and went to queue up for my half price Mocha Frappe at NEX starbucks...after that went to farrer park City Square Mall to submit my project..felt great to just walk around by myself from here to there...then went to toa payoh to walk around and ate dinner with friends...

I had a fufilling day... can throw back all my fears of exam and just walk walk..while drinking my Mocha and walking around...I was smiling to myself..how can I be so relax...

I still remember the days in JC...the teachers will pin up the higher chinese marks that we got..and i'm always one of the last few at the bottom...just like sim this sem...saw the teacher holding on to a paper with assignment results asking and checking out how are we...and I'm also one of the lower mark range students..the teacher asked me to buck up..how to buck up when I don't even know what I'm doing..

But today..I don't care..I just go out to walk walk and shop shop..I like that feeling..the feeling of smiling everywhere I go and to everyone I meet...I don't care if others say me crazy..but I am just that HAPPY! I ate so full today until my stomach pain..but I don't care..

I heard what happened in the school today..it's in a mess..can't imagine how it's like when I go back school tomorrow..but I don't care as long as my exam is finished for the first week..2 more papers to go..the fear will come next week..let it come..as long as I'm happy now...hehehe..I just can't contain my happiness..and the only thing that I want to do today...is to draw! I bought an A5 size drawing booklet..wanted to start drawing..there's only a pencil and eraser in my bag today..no heavy books..no heavy pencil case...no heavy stack of worksheets..yesh!

I can't imagine what will happen when I finish my exam...it's such a short short break before going to Hangzhou..will be busy with school stuff and packing..most importantly..I can finally spend some time with my friends and Jaja without any exam worries!

I just can't contain my happiness now..though it's sad that I will miss out DYB camp @ Desaru for Hangzhou..both are fun..so I won't lose out anything..as usual..will plan out some special stuff for my group students..gotta think about it..hmm...I just can't stop smiling to myself now..I am just so HAPPY!

..or maybe sth to do with my mocha!=)

Today...a kid in my class is leaving..it's one of my colleague's kid..he's a special need kid...will be around in the school half day...and in the special school in the morning...

academically..he won't be able to cope in this school..therefore..his mum decided to let him go..

but he learnt alot of skills..know how to stand still during national anthem...how to line up with the class...how to sit in the school hall without running away and crying....he learn everything from scratch..

i gave him a full container of mentos..titbits..and stationary...if he is a normal kid..these are the things that I would have given him for the full year...if he is a normal kid..i would haven given him all these...these...is what I will give him...I wish that he will learn something new everyday...and these are the goodies for him..if he learn something new..he can take something out from the container..

i bless him with all the power that I had...and hope he will continue to improve everyday...

Today I teach until very out of breathe....i wasn't feeling very welltoday...not fever...just sore throat but feel very weak...sometimes i wonder...y do i have to make myself so tired...with school work...studies...temple..until i have to give up my hobbies..my gym...guitar...calligraphy..jap lesson...it's really depressing especially when you are sick and u still have to work...and sick during the busiest period....those old ppl illness coming to haunt me when i'm only 25...rheumatism...piles...knee problem....here pain...there pain...

and still trying to keep up with my school work..studies...but I can't...and not only do Idrag my studies down...I drag my students down too..they are slower than the other classes...I think it is my fault that I didn't plan well...in everything..

what can I do?

can I still get my life back?

what am I suppose to do?

can I just run away from all these?

can I really do that?

can I?