P2 speech and drama is really in a mess, shouldn't have chose to be in charge of it....thought the teacher will settle everything, but actually gives alot of trouble...last year oso won be like that....but i dono is my problem...or the speech and drama side problem...or the school problem...all are not supportive enough...the PA system....oh my gosh...CD player cannot use..remote control battery turns oily....can only play and no pause..cannot go next track...ask PA in charge..say not free...end up ask me off the system myself..go to the room...the chairs and tables for last week oral still not cleared..everything's in a mess..is it really my problem or people find me easy to pushover so they don come and help me..want mic stand no mic stand..gotta walk all the way to the school hall up and down to get it....want PA system the person totally forgot about it...ask me to switch off myself when i don even know..there are so many sqitches to on and off in sequence..what is really the problem...
luckily i ask jaja to come and help after his lesson..but the problem is still not solve..alot of problem not mentioned..if i can settle i sure settle myself...but how do i solve all these problems..if not i really must be like jaja go and "RAHHHH" and shout at them..."only can do it this way..or that way....no other way...take it or leave it..." do u think i'm that kind of person..
i really need the support..its not a one person thingy but how come everything points to the in charge..i dono what to do u find me oso no use..
this is really a very pressurising week...i'm really very tired...i don even have a proper rest..every morning is scare until wake up de...worry that this haven do that haven do...last week oral i was late by half an hour...i feel so paiseh about it...
can i just say quit...i don wan to do anymore???????
i can feel the toxic produced from the stress inside me...
first time i got so low for my assignment..48 marks..consider a fail to me..it is really difficult..how come i tried my best end up still fail..i really cannot take it...i cannot believe all these while I din get even a B-..now give me this kind or result..legal meaning and normal meaning is really totally different..sigh..my other assignment is also dropping..getting lower and lower..no more 70 marks liao..i dono how..is it because i didn't study my textbook? i dono what I should do now..to submit my next assignment...or to review again..but i don't know what to edit anymore..who can help me? i really don't know..even if a person who has a good english or chinese base also cannot help me..i need an expert in legal and law to help me..but i dono anyone..
and to think I still want to take honours for it although honours or not doesn't add salary...shd I just hope for a pass will do? can I still hope to get into the honours?
my A level results came back to haunt me again..
It's really tiring without Jaja sending me there.2 days consecutive carrying heavy bags,rushing out of classroom and bread fir dinner...I haven living this kind of lifestyle for quite some time.it's really tiring...I can save alot of time on bike..and relaxing on the bike...blow wind...not like now..standing till leg ache..carry till backache..and being late for class..very late..if Jaja come fetch me...it'll be so nice..don need to consecutive eat bread and get hungry for 2 nites..and i can reach home earlier...not so tiring.. I'm really very tired...felling asleep on my work desk..
I have to constantly stay happy so as not to have negative thoughts... negative thoughts can't help me to do anything but only stop me from doing work normally..
I suddenly became very busy...can't seem to breathe...thinking about being busy for the whole month...it's not really about school work u noe...school stuff is the one the gives me the least worry... 1st sat and sun: sat: morning school band settle uniform at 10am, afternoon dyb rehearsal for tomorrow at 3pm, performance practice at 7pm... sun: full day dyb class.. 2nd weekend: fri: need to stay back for hangzhou briefing for parents at 7pm sat: school opening ceremony rehearsal at 8.30, performance practice at 3pm. sun: I'm left with the only day to do my very stress assignment..but jaja army no one to help out..but i still got to do my assignment at his house using the software he has.. 3rd week: need to come early in the morning to test p3 and p4 oral.. another assignment is going to due..i'm going to chiong.. sun: dyb youth class.. there's more to come.. I have to keep reminding myself to go for this and do that..it's always on my mind..there are also other stuff and meeting which i'm scared that i will forget to go..
