sometimes..i'm really so busy..don even have time for myself..don have time for others..i'm so sorry if i neglected any friends..cos i'm really occupied by work and stuff..sometimes it's not tt i don reply to forwarded sms..i don even have time to clear my mails and inbox..this and that..i really wish to keep in contact with everyone..wish them happy birthday..happy valentine's day..this and that..but dono y..as the time pass by..it's nt that i don wan to do..it's that i don have the time to do again..the days where i'll send over 20 plus christmas cards to everyone..and mummy says i waste stamp..and forward and flood others with emails..forwarding sms to wish everyone this and that..disturbing ppl..finding ppl i can chat with and open lotsa msn windows at one go..now no more..

i wanted to do more..but i couldn't..i couldn;t do more for my kids..these days i can't seem to finish marking their work as soon as they hand in..it's jus so tiring after i got back home and i could jus sleep on the sofa immediately after dinner..i wanted to mark my things..but i'm really very tired..i'm oredi..to my limit le..is it jus my time management problem? last time i'll try to steal time to mark on the bus..but when i'm on the bus..i jus stone dere and din wana move..i don even take out my storybook to read like last time..i wanted to..i wanted to write my diary on the bus..on plan wad to do for the nex day..but i couldn't..i'm really too tired to think..i try to push myself oredi..i push very hard..but it's jus so hard..

after 9 periods straight down today..i could hardly move..before that i was playing dodge ball with the kids..after running for awhile..i felt really tired..i was panting..prob long time din go gym..my shoulder..leg..here dere..jus got that kind of pain as if i got sprained..i could say that my muscle was stiff..carrying 2 big bags of things home everyday seems to be my job..and carried them back to sch without marking everything..wad's the purpose rite..shouldn't decive myself..but i tot i could do more..i really thought..bcos las time i really could mark everything i brought home..wad's wrong with me..is it jus symptoms that i'm growing old? i can't let myself do tt..not bcos i'm scared of being old and ugly..i need tat energy to keep me going on to do things that i wana do..

i'm not afriad that i'm busy..i'm jus afraid meetings and outing will clash and i'll either miss the fun here or dere..life is only once..if that timing over means over..u can't replay things back..no matter how u live ur life..good or bad..choose an easy way out or a difficult way out..how can i make myself to do wad i'm suppose to do..to let out all the potential in me..and it's the same for my kids..when i'm talking to them bout their character..behaviour..do they really noe wad i'm toking bout..couldn't i jus do more..

i shd really sit down and reflect on how i'm doing now..how to make this kind of busy situation become more effective..rather than jus straining myself and struggling..i noe i need a breakthrough in order to progress..to procede on to the next stage of life..but wad is it in me that i need to adjust so that i can get that breakthrough..

u noe..sometimes form the way ur kids behave..it just reflect on urself wad kind of chracter u have..the bo chap type..u noe..today someone broke the beanbag and the beans came out..den some of them went to pick it up..i say "don touch it"..cos i was rushing for time and i couldn't be bothered bout such things..then..they really put down on the floor..where it was lying..even the cap of the bottle..don they noe that they shd throw away..instead of putting back to the same spot..i really think the one with problem is me..if not how come they'll behave like tat..den i din bother to ask them pick up again cos was rushing them back to class for another lesson..

i'm sorry..but i noe i'm in the wrong..i shd enforce and tell them wad to do instead of letting them blur blur..the dono wad to do..but i noe..or maybe sometimes i oso dono..they always ask..teacher..i found a colour pencil..wad shd i do..i ask le but nobody claims..den wad..there's no place to keep lost and found things in the classroom..so? do wad? throw away? wad if later they found out it's theirs..so cruel to jus throw into the dustbin..wasted..or mabe i'm jus not meticulous enuff..u noe..there's a student 1 week din come..and i oso din go and call to check wad's wrong with the kid..there's a kid..suddenly gave me a one week mc when i din even noe she's not in school..wad's wrong..i'm the form teacher yet i din noe..althou i don see them everyday i oredi try to ask my kids who din come on that day..they told me..but still like that..den how..i cannot always go into the classroom when they're having other lessons ma..wad is wrong..i tink i shd jus go and consult other teachers see wad they say..i tot there's nth to ask..but as i reflect..there's more and more to be asked..actaully writing oso helps to reflect and think..

all sch stuff..skip..temple on sun..took care of the kids..was really tired..when sat went for their briefing..den sun morning woke up at 6 to go there and prepare..one whole day gone..i really need the time to prepare stuff for sch..and to rest..i really wish to sleep until very late..jus one weekend..sat or sun..sleep until 11..12..den wake up..i'll be very happy..my table is in a mess..the newly bought cupboard's still empty..

today i must really tink wad's wrong and wad to do before i sleep..