so busy..so tired..physically tired and mentally straining..these few weeks really very packed..until i could hardly breathe..last week got temple and old folks home celebration..need to go for rehearsal and performance..den school still got cny dinner..den gotta rush ehre and there..den many outings meetings and courses all clash with each other..felt frustrating..den this week oso got lotsa stuff again...temple got duty..go for training..this and that..sat got parents meeting gotta prepare..den stil got other stuff..don even have much time to go out with jaja or wad le..don think can celebrate our first v day together..thou i really wish to have a happy one..all so busy..it's jus up to me whether or not i wana go for wad i wan or not..it's so straining..

rushing sylabus..kids' grades dropping..no time to mark things..jus go for course one day..den i tok one week to mark the things tt they did on that day..actually i don wish to carry so many stuffs with me..but..my heart jus dono how to put down..and it's jus gets heavier and heavier..i really want my v day..i really wana sleep until late late den get up..i don wana keep sleeping at 2 3 am and get up at 8..i wana sleep more..i really want to..

today..flowers sent to school..shd be their beau ba..ha..last year more spectec..3 heart shape balloons..my sis will jus say..chey! crazy..this mornng jus quarreled with her..actaully i was jus graumbling a little..den she keep tinking i shdn't grumble..wad's the big deal..alone den alone parent meeting briefing la..last time oso like tat..if not ask principal to help u lo..or ask sweeping auntie to pei u..wad kind of shitty answer is that..she jus wana argue lo..and say i jus wana fight back for no reason..and stil say my character will upset lotsa ppl when i'm outside..as if she doesn't..den she say..where got..upset u ah..she jus doesn't have any idea..i don wana say anymore..everytime she'll jus say sth jus to get back for the sake of getting back..and she stil say me..

dono y..i jus feel like crying out to destress abit..thou i've like cried for at least 2 hours on tues and went to sch with a very sore eyes...sigh..when it comes to dono wad celebration wad day it'll jus makes me feel moody and upset dono for wad reason..

when can i really have a total rest of my heart? really wish to go to marche and order the baked potato..the drink i want..the dessert ice cream i like..really wish to go for a drink and sing now..jus suddenly wana go at this moment..now..sigh..it's jus so tiring..

i must keep reminding myself..persuading myself..psychoing myself..it's not gonna be like last time..there'll be none of any celebrations of anything..no festive celebration..no wadeva monthly celebration..no watever anniversary celebration..no no no! i must learn to celebrate by myself if i want..used to carry a heavy bag to walk around..but i dono how long i can still hang on..my shoulders are getting more and more painful..yet i don even have time to care bout it..ya..i dono how to take care of myself..jus can't be bothered..ailments all over..which one can i care..care bout this..the other comes..once used to it and it'll jus pass..wadeva happy or sad things..den everything is new again..

happy v day eveyone! no matter u're attached or not..hope u'll have a happy mood in this sweet season..may happiness and joy filled everyone's heart...stay happy!