i really really don like new year..everyone is like celebrating the good and new festive seasion..getting red packets and stuff..for me..i don like..i really don like..cos always quarrel de..everytime go out eat..not jus reunion dinner..always like tat de..from the day i rmb dad threw chopsticks in public while eating since dono how many many years ago til now..we nvr had a good meal together again..go out eat sure quarrel de..and they started flying spoon around..i jus gotta wait and see when they going to fly bowl..it's better to get more plastic utensils..better..
i'm really sick of the family..even jus now reunion dinner..everyone is like quarreling until don wana eat anymore..esp dad and mum..sis and dad..i'm always out of the picture..cos i really don wish to care about it anymore..i jus get scolded more no matter wad i do...don do anything oso wil get scold..might as well jus go out and siam them..den don need to hear them quarrel..it's so bad luck..it seems like if every new year don eat happily..will quarrel thruout the year..
i really wish someone can save me from this family..or someone could jus do sth to the family so that things will get better..but i noe i can't put any hope on anyone..knew of a few cases whereby dono y once their bf join in things will get better for their family..y can't sis jus find a guy and don boss around me..she really has nth better to do..everytime keep eyeing and picking on me..it's as if i don get implicated in the family quarrel will die..sure will drag me in..
chinese new year..visit relative..buy new year goodies..get red packets..none of the above for me..how to go out to visit relative when even sit down to eat reunion dinner everyone is full of anger..if don press down later chopsticks fly again..i dono eat that dinner for wad lo..eat until everyone so angry..defeats the purpose..and wad's the purpose of being together if their heart is not there to eat the dinner..when we're eating the yu sheng..i so sian until i don wana say any auspicious thing anymore..say le oso no use..everytime i pray that the family will not quarrel..but will it come true..it's jus getting worst and worst each yr..it's not that i don wana do anything to it..sometimes i'm jus too tired and sian to do anything anymore..maybe..i jus lost hope in the family..and probably trust too..it affects..cos mum don trust dad..and prejudice over him that he'll be jobless aft new year..and give lotsa trouble when he stays at home whole day..if keep on hearing negative stuff and she keeps telling me to say bad things to dad and scold him on her behalf..how will i be happy..i can jus diam..for me..i feel it's better not to do anything den doing anything..how am i suppose to change when the family blood is like that..
i jus go out..i go out everyday..i make myself very occupied and busy..i don wana stay at home..really..i don like to play mahjong too..i'm sick of it..dad keep nagging to play..i don like to play with him..he jus wana win my money and gamble away..i don like..i don like..i really don like..i'm jus upset and disappointed that my family is like tat..but i'm the youngest..that's the prob..they oredi labeled me as i dono and cannot and should not do anything..i can jus feel angry or sad and nothing else i could do..if i do anything it jus makes me more sad..it's so hurting..when everyone is celebrating happily..and me..trying to siam away from new year..from the expression jus couldn't tell wad i'm thinking about..cos action always says louder than words..
been thinking alot..contacting lotsa parents these days..until sometimes i'm so nervous that i really dono wad to tell them..when their child is not very good in their conduct..i really don like to be a vasebut wad can i do..i don wana say anything bad about my student and let their parent worry and angry with their own child..i don wan things on me to repeat on my own student..
this season is really...i really wish it can jus pass quickly..cos there's nothing to celebrate about..to me..it's jus meaningless..giving more trouble than anything else..
i find my joy elsewhere..
from work..tons of work waiting for me to do..can numb myself and make myself occupied i enjoy teaching..
jap lesson..this is the jap money our teacher showed us..she ask us go hokkaido..cos japanese hemselves oso not all went there before..but eating will be a problem for me..actaully 3 countries i wana go now is taiwan..hong kong..and japan..actually when u're working..money is not the issue anymore..it's whether my family let me go or not..and if it does not clash with any sch stuff..
my hands are red..couldn't wash them off..y?
cos wrote couplets for some games heald at old folks home..eh..stil ok ba..jus that some abit cui la..cos of paper..and my prob..long time din write le.and not all words i noe how to write in calligraphy style..so jus try here and dere lo..still thinking wana go back learn or not..cos it really helps alot in lotsa stuff...
and wushu..sigh..saw them on stage..in sch..and on shows..most of the strokes i learnt before de..like it so much..but i noe i don have that much time to learn..and physically wise..
althou there's some hiccups here and dere wif jaja..but den we stil ok la..so bo eng oredi..time spent together must treasure rather than quarreling..
i really don wish to do any work during new year..cos i have a feeling that if do sch stuff thru out the new year..will be busy for the whole year..but which teacher is not busy..i oredi quite good le la..shd look on the brighter side..boost up and move on!
